Adapation

Wow, what a year it has been in 2020 so far. We are now more than half way through this year, though I imagine for many, it has felt like much of the year has been condensed into a few months. While there has been more than enough upheaval, I anticipate more upheaval in the coming months. This is where one’s ability to adapt will play a big role in navigating the currents. 

I have an analogy to illustrate the necessity of adaptation. Imagine you are in a boat, floating down a mellow and peaceful river. You are sitting in a relaxed position, enjoying the scenery. Things just feel good. Suddenly, your boat begins to rock a little. The water sounds and feels a bit more violent and turbulent. Your nervous system kicks into alert mode as you sit up and scan your surroundings. And then you see it. Right before you are vicious rapids. It’s too late to attempt to steer your boat to the riverbanks. You are being pulled right into the rapids. You have two options: 1) Resist the rapids in a desperate attempt to get back to the mellow part of the river or 2) Accept the fact that you are in the rapids, which demand your paddling more strategically and aggressively in order to make it through. 

To me, this analogy captures the situation many people are in. The mellow part of the river represents where we have been living individually and collectively. The rapids represent the turbulence and upheaval we are now individually and collectively dealing with. What once sustained and supported you in the mellow part of the river will not work in the rapids. The rapids demand adaptation, a shift in one’s modus operandi.  

Where people get stuck is in desperately clinging onto the life that they have always known and been habituated to. Anais Nin writes: 

“Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.”

— Anais Nin

This mentality often presents itself in therapy. “I want to feel better. I want things to be better…but I don’t want to take responsibility for the actions I would need to take in order to make that happen.” Familiarity trumps uncertainty of the unknown. 

I will be the first to say that I have lived much of my life this way. And as I take a step back to observe Western society as a whole, I see the same thing. We have been conditioned to outsource our own agency and power to parental structures in our lives (e.g. healthcare providers, politicians, etc). This inevitably creates a state of learned helplessness, which when challenged by hardship, can be the fertile soil for assuming personal responsibility or enraged entitlement. Most of my life has been more on the end of resentful entitlement. There have been numerous times I have projected this self-induced resentment onto therapists, blaming them for my misery or not “improving” as fast as I would like. Using the analogy from earlier, this attitude is the equivalent of me frantically back paddling away from the rapids while shouting, “I shouldn’t have to fucking deal with this!” 

With all this being said, I find myself in a place of refocusing and adapting. For example, I typically send out newsletters on a monthly basis. I have not done so for the past two months. Many factors play into why this is, but I will spare the lengthy explanation. 

None of it has been pleasant, but I have deep gratitude for these challenging times. They are the fertile soil for breaking me down and initiating a process of pressurized inner alchemy. Like a seed buried in the earth, I am buried in darkness. In the dark, I have the opportunity to go quiet and within. And like a seed, the inner stirrings of creative potential are activated, ready to birth that which lies within. 

Now I ask you: In these times of upheaval, where do you find yourself? Are you struggling to get back to the mellow part of the river? Or are you facing the rapids? What adaptations might you need to make? Is it all doom and gloom, or can you find opportunity even amidst the chaos?