“I’m a Nice Guy. I’m not like those douchebag, toxically masculine guys. For that reason I deserve a good woman.”

If you’re a Nice Guy, you’ve probably said or thought this before. I sure have. I was your poster-child Nice Guy.

It makes sense that you have reasons for your cynicism. Perhaps you’ve experienced the deep heartbreak of betrayal. Perhaps you were treated in absolutely deplorable ways by women. Or maybe you’ve put your best foot forward only to find yourself friendzoned over and over.

One of the unacknowledged roots of "emotionally unavailable men" is the mother complex. He has perfect reason to feel afraid of intimacy, because at his most vulnerable moments as a boy it was consciously/unconsciously held hostage by his own mother - his first love.

One look out into the modern Western world and you will see a society possessed by the shadow feminine: groupthink, control via shame, and lack of boundaries are widespread. The antidote is reclaiming and embodying masculine principles of differentiation, disagreeability, and discernment.

Photo by Ricardo Moura on Unsplash.

We’ve gotten real good at articulating what is wrong. Do we even remember how to speak words that build up, inspire, and give life? I would argue that we do not, or that we have forgotten.

Photo by Miguel Henriques on Unsplash.

Photo by Chuttersnap on Unsplash.

Many men in the modern West have turned into emotional caretakers. These men cannot tolerate difficult emotions in his woman, especially when she turns them onto him. In an anxious effort to smooth over things and try and bring himself back into her good graces, he falls into her frame and forfeits his own. What this leads to is men and women who cannot tolerate difficult emotions. Men now caretake the difficult emotions of their woman (and daughters).